Life Imperfect
by pyrrhicvictoly
Summary: Fifty run-on sentences about Gintoki and Katsura getting lost on the road of life because they didn't stop to ask for directions. Or maybe because Katsura is a horrible driver and they can only get so far on Gintoki's scooter. Something like that.


A/N: For 1sentence on LJ.

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**Life Imperfect**

_In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. -Douglas Adams_

**01 - comfort**  
For a bleak few years after his parents died, Gintoki thought he would always be alone, but then there was Sensei, and then there was Katsura.

**34 - lightening/thunder**  
Gintoki, for all his macho posturing, is a superstitious, scaredy-cat crybaby, and that's why Katsura has taken it upon himself to curl up with the other boy when there's a thunderstorm during one of their sleepovers.

**02 - kiss**  
They're twelve years old when Gintoki wins a bet with some chump at school by planting a wet one on Katsura.

**42 - clouds**  
The tall green grass is pressed down beneath the weight of two boys, who, putting down their shared copy of Jump to stare up at perfectly blue, cloud-filled skies full of promise, tell each other that they'll travel the whole galaxy together when they grow up to be samurai space pirates.

**36 - market**  
The festival is a chaotic swirl of sights and sounds - vendors hawking their wares, the bang and bloom of fireworks, and these two young barely-men wailing off key with their arms around each other and sake bottles (their first bittersweet taste of liquor) raised to the heavens (in a mockery of prayer, for tomorrow they're off to become heroes).

**23 - hands**  
Later on, Gintoki would say he had only joined the Joui because that was what all the stupid hot-blooded youths were doing at the time, but in reality, he had done it because Katsura had held out his hand in friendship when they first met, so he was just returning the favor.

**27 - blood**  
They say blood is thicker than water; if that's the case, then they're blood brothers by way of having bathed in the same red tides.

**40 - innocence**  
There's something about Gintoki's soul that will always remain pure in the midst of all this bloodshed; there's something about that soul that draws people in, and Katsura is no exception.

**41 - completion**  
As the leader, he has to be impartial about his men, but for some unknown reason, the camp doesn't feel like home unless Gintoki is there.

**15 - touch**  
Day after day, he drags the fallen back to camp, and each time, he is mildly surprised at how much lighter he feels when Zura puts a hand on his shoulder.

**05 - potatoes**  
It's nearing winter and they're out of rations, but even the most common of meals becomes a delicious feast with the hunger of war and the pleasure of good company.

**45 - hell**  
This is their turf, the land of Demons, where the blood of their fallen comrades flows like rivers of crimson tears.  
**  
16 - weakness**  
Shiroyasha's weakness had always been his friends, but that was also the source of his monstrous strength.

**04 - pain**  
Gintoki hides all his pain behind feigned indifference, but even he can't keep the heart-rending shock-disbelief-no-no-no from showing in his eyes when he hears that Katsura's been badly injured in the latest raid.  
**  
17 - tears**  
Somehow, they had both become the stuff of legends, but the price of such infamy was that they didn't dare cry, lest they never stop.

**44 - heaven**  
Heaven is this: all of them making it out alive and well, the Amanto leaving Edo, Takasugi returning to the way he used to be (without the insanity creeping into his eyes like it does once in a while now), and Gin-- no, it's enough that Gintoki is here by his side.

**22 - jealousy**  
It was only after Takasugi went off the deep end that Gintoki realized they'd never been close in school because they were both too busy waging a silent war over who was Katsura's best friend.

**33 - fear**  
Back to back, surrounded by enemies on all sides, his heart screamed until he thought it would shatter: Katsura needed to LIVE.

**43 - sky**  
They fled the last battle in opposite directions, and, losing sight of each other, ran until they collapsed to stare sightlessly at frozen gray skies, thinking, "Where is he now, where is he now?"

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_Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. -Kin Hubbard_

**18 - speed**  
Their reunion is swift and dramatic like an uppercut, probably because it actually involves an uppercut.

**20 - freedom**  
Sakamoto laughed (and laughed and laughed) as he invited them on a tour of "the vast freedoms of outer space, ahaha!", but Katsura couldn't go because he was learning to carve out his own freedom here on Earth, not just with the Joui, but with Gintoki.

**31 - home**  
Home is here in Edo, in Kabuki-cho, with Shinpachi and Kagura running around, Otose-san barging in to demand rent, and trying to play Where's Waldo with Zura's ridiculous costumes whenever he goes out on the town.

**46 - sun**  
Katsura deserved someone who wasn't a worthless bum like him, so for a while there, Gintoki thought he would lose to Ikumatsu-dono, who had a strong sense of responsibility, and who guided Katsura back into the light with her care.

**47 - moon**  
Gintoki wasn't often attracted to men, so for a while there, Katsura thought he would have to play the role of the supportive best friend while Tsukuyo took her place as Gintoki's lover.

**07 - chocolate**  
"Just because I gave you chocolate on Valentine's Day doesn't make me the girl in this relationship, you ungrateful diabetic!"

**30 - star**  
Gintoki spits out his drink when he hears the announcer say, "And now for the star of our show, Zurako!"

**12 - sensual**  
He laughs his ass off when he learns that, despite all they've been through with Mademoiselle Saigou, "Zurako" still works part time at an okama bar to fund his terrorist group, shaking his hips in an incense-filled room for old perverts to ogle.

**32 - confusion**  
"Seriously, what's up with your crossdressing fetish?" he asks, but Zura's eyes just glint with uncharacteristically evil glee as he turns the question around with a crippling, "What's with yours, Paako?"

**14 - sex**  
They're lying together on the heart-shaped bed of a sleazy love hotel, silly grins on their faces as they take into account the disheveled kimonos, smeared makeup, and one of Paako's pigtails hanging off the bedside lamp.

**50 - supernova**  
Gintoki will never understand the people who think sex is all about the sappy romance of lovers coming together in a world-shattering blast of sparkles and magic rainbows and... and healing cocks or somesuch, because how it really goes (at least for him and Zura) is that it's got fumbling, inappropriate snickers at each other's body parts, and morning breath, but it's really a lot more fun this way.

**24 - taste**  
"You really need to cut down on the sugar intake because I feel like I'm eating second-hand parfaits when we kiss."

**25 - devotion**  
Katsura's devotion goes like this: whenever he buys the giant variety pack of Nmaibo, he saves all the little chocolate ones to bribe for Gintoki.

**38 - gift**  
"Come on, Zura, put down the sword because I swear there's nothing fishy about-- the hell's that supposed to mean, 'the real Gintoki's too cheap to buy you anything'?!"

**29 - melody**  
"The corrupt government will listen to our song, a dirge that sings of BOMBS blowing up their--" he pauses to pick up his phone, "ah, Gintoki, I'm in the middle of a mission debriefing, but karaoke sounds good."

**09 - telephone**  
"Zura~, there's a reason you got this cell phone, so don't get so bent out of shape about a few sexy messages... oh, you were detained by the Shinsengumi and they hacked your phone and listened to all your voicemails gotchanevermindthenbye."

**13 - death**  
He manages to gasp out, "It's just a flesh wound," as his vision starts to gray, and very dimly in the background, he thinks he can hear Gintoki shout out, "At least pick something less cliche than Monty Python for your last words, damn it!"

**03 - soft**  
Katsura nuzzles the huge dog - he's so soft! - and it totally escapes his notice that this dog is actually Gintoki, who is enjoying the belly rub WAY TOO MUCH and really needs to stop this before he gives in to his new canine instincts to hump Zura's leg.

**06 - rain**  
Elizabeth likes Gintoki because he's the open-minded sort who just shrugs and accepts the fact that his significant other chooses to share an umbrella with a giant duck-like alien on rainy days.

**10 - ears**  
Kagura comes home to Gin-chan's loud moaning ("Oh yeah, just a little deeper! Like that! Mmm...feels so good..."), so she kicks open the door to his room and is about to beat off whoever's defiling her stupid boy when she notices it's just Katsura cleaning Gin-chan's ears.

**49 - hair**  
Katsura secretly likes Gintoki's wavy silver hair, but keeps making fun of it because otherwise the permed bastard would get oh-so-smug and oh-so-annoying.

**48 - waves**  
He idly traces the wave pattern on the kimono before slowly peeling off that article of clothing and moving on to the next, and the next, and the next.

**26 - forever**  
"I think I liked you better with short hair because then you didn't hog the bathroom just to spend eternity making yourself shine like a shampoo commercial," Gintoki says deviously nonchalantly as he plots to mess up Zura's freshly washed hair with more energetic sex.

**19 - wind**  
Bringing his hand back to stop his hair from whipping around, his eyes widen as he meets only oddly short strands, and then they widen even more as he feels another hand covering his, moving it aside so that warm lips can press against the nape of his neck in stark contrast to the cold weather.

**35 - bonds**  
The bonds he had with most of his former classmates and wartime friends have been severed by death; with Sakamoto they are stretched thin among the stars, with Takasugi they are twisted into hatred and resentment and pity, and with Katsura they just get stronger as the years go by.

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_As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. -Robert Benchley_

**39 - smile**  
It takes them by surprise one morning when they look into the mirror and are greeted by smile lines.

**28 - sickness**  
They never got married or even thought about marriage because they just didn't need some fancy ceremony and a government-issued certificate to tell them "in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part".

**08 - happiness**  
With a copy of Jump in his lap, strawberry milk sitting to the side, and the gnarled old hand of his best friend held tightly in his, he thinks this is what it means to be happy (but things would be perfect if he could just get his dentures to slide in right).

**11 - name**  
Gintoki still calls him "Zura", and Zura, the cantankerous old coot, still says, "It's not Zura, it's Katsura!" just like he did when they were ten, and twenty, and thirty, and fourty...

**37 - technology**  
The kids in the neighborhood think they can pick on the old gay couple, but they're wrong, as Gintoki and Katsura prove when they knock down a few more whippersnappers with their canes and shout, "Kids should be at home playing Dragon Quest!"  
**  
21 - life**  
Neither of them would ever be considered flawless men (well, they've certainly done some dubious things), but in the end, they've had a good run together.


End file.
